House of falling cards

Every morning by 5:30AM (sometimes 5:15 when we have early morning meetings) the R2 that was on call the previous night has to show all the CTs/MRIs that were performed the previous day. By 5:30AM the R2 needs to have an updated copy of the patient list and the rounding notes for the day printed out, collated and stapled in the order we see patients throughout the hospital. By 5:30AM, all the post op checks, CSF collections, dressing removals, ED consults, transcranial doppler results, and acute patient management need to have been done. With a list of probably 50 things to do at any given time throughout the night, with more coming in in the way of pages and calls to the phone, it feels something akin to frantically trying to stack a pile of falling cards into an organized house before we present the overnight events to the team in the morning. Only after signing out the virtual pager to the next R2 on call does one feel that he's making ground in eliminating the number of tasks he needs to perform.

I still feel like I'm flailing. There's still too much to learn. They say it'll come with time, but our attendings expect perfection now. The unreasonable expectations motivate me in a sick way. It's an impossible task, an insurmountable puzzle... I love a good challenge.

To my readers: I apologize for my writing style. According to an online analysis (http://iwl.me/), my style has deteriorated from that of Margaret Atwood and Edgar Alan Poe to that of Stephen King and Dan Brown over the years. Ugh. I'll try to do better.