Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Things we forget...

I just came back from a week of vacation. Feeling refreshed, and yet tired knowing that I have to take call my first day back. Our census hit an all time high while I was away. You feel a little bad about leaving your fellow residents with that, but bad in the same way as the guy who wins the lottery does about his new found wealth.

I haven't blogged in a while because everything seems the same now. The emergencies are still emergent, but have taken on a repetitive lull that make them not so worthy of writing home about. Writing about my hardships falls on my eyes like whining, and my moments of accomplishment feel like bragging rather than self discovery. I'm halfway done... and for some reason feel strangely lost.

My friend reminded me to look at the moon today as it was especially beautiful. For that reason I looked at the night sky twice, instead of once or not at all. The moon had moved, as it always has, as it always does, but in a way that I had long forgotten. I am a neurosurgery resident. I can tell you how oxygen is delivered by which blood vessel to the internal capsule of the brain, but if you had asked me yesterday if the moon moved across the night sky, I would have had to think about it, and might have answered 'no'.

I'm losing touch with reality.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Permacall

We're down an R2. In order to be as compliant to duty hours as possible my coresident and I are doing day and night shifts. Oh it's painful. Being stuck with call during the day for 7 days in a row is a world of hurt I didn't think could irk me so. I'm tired. I'm losing patience. It's not the hours, but just having to deal with new consults and admitting patients every day becomes draining in an inexplicable way. I can see the advantage of always being in house though. I have a better grasp on the service than I ever did before, and know more about the patients and their families than I do about my own.

I really need a vacation...

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About Me

I'm a quixotic idealist that's readjusting to the reality of the world around him. An aesthetic at heart, willing to not shower a week at a time to go camping, exploring, hiking, etc. I love food, poker, and anything that can be turned into a competition.